close to my heart

Real Life Friend Request

While I questioned posting my raw, truthful and painfully honest thoughts in my last post; I’m glad I did. It was hard to put myself out there to be so open and honest for millions a few people to see, but so many unexpected thoughts and emotions came from it from others, it was unbelievable.

I realized after many messages from a lot of you that I am, in fact, not alone. It’s bittersweet, really; while it makes me feel better that I’m not the only one, it’s also unfortunately disappointing. Why, if there are so many of us feeling alone are there so many of us feeling alone? Does that make sense? If you’re feeling lonely and I’m feeling lonely, where have we both gone wrong?

A lot of us, including myself, feel like we just don’t fit in anywhere. While it’s absolutely wonderful to have friends that you click with, it’s not okay to stay inside that clique. We spend so much of our time separating ourselves because of our differences so that we don’t make ourselves feel inadequate or uncomfortable. We need to be doing the exact opposite. People who have differences can add so much to our lives. We shouldn’t fear building relationships with people who are different than ourselves, rather welcome their differences as a way to empower each other and grow. We have so much to gain from people who are different than us.

Raise your hand if you have a handful of favorite blogs. Raise your other hand if you cruise other peoples’ Facebook pages more than you feel you should. Now, with both hands in the air, give yourself a high five because you now have something in common with me. Technology has taken so much away from actual friendships. We don’t need to sit down and talk to people because we can see their life spread all over the internet. Agree? Then like this post. Just kidding! Sending a ‘friend request’ is much easier than approaching someone face to face and saying, “Let’s get to know each other.” Since I’ve been in Spain, I’ve met some pretty incredible wives who have been through so much to get to where they are today. People have history and have overcome struggles. People have funny embarressing moments and interesting hobbies and talents. There is so much depth waiting to be discovered that cannot truly be experienced via Facebook. We need to limit our Facebook time and have true ‘social networking’ with more face-to-face time.

In case you’re wondering, yes; this is a blog post directly to myself. And maybe you, too. And maybe you could sit here and raise the same argument I’m having with myself at this very second and say, “But, it’s so hard. I’m so self-concious and shy.” Sound like you? Yeah. Me too. Or maybe you’re all like, “I have tons of friends and don’t need anymore because I’m so cool and awesome.” Guess what? We’re being selfish! Yes, I said selfish. It’s all a vicious cycle, really. Let me explain how. If we’re self-conscious, (whether positively or negatively), we’re not thinking of others and their needs. If you’ve been burned in the past (like me), you know it’s the pits. I have memories of someone very important to me telling me that I’m ‘weird’ and ‘not like other girls’. And maybe you, do too. But, you have so much to offer! If you put yourself out there, people will see your beautiful personality and want to be a part of it.

So, I ask you to join me in challenging yourself to create change. Meet someone new this week. In person. A real life friend request, if you will. Have a spontaneous conversation. Simply make someone smile. You’ll be ever so glad you did.

Be bold. Be yourself. Be a blessing.

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6 thoughts on “Real Life Friend Request”

  1. I had coffee with a friend today…I was really proud of myself! LOL I think you just started a support group for…ME 🙂

  2. I have been hesitant to make new friends here because I know we’re leaving soon and I HATE leaving people…but at the same time I want so badly to have friendship with others who are in the same boat as me. It’s been sort of a hard balance for me, but I’m slowly learning that while the time I spend with my new friends may be short, they will enrich my life and that should outweigh my hesitations!

  3. Thank you so much for sharing your insight. Reading this post gave me a much needed attitude adjustment & helped push me to step outside my comfort zone. I’ve started putting myself out there & it truly hasn’t been as bad as I made it out to be in my head. Thank you thank you thank you. You have been such a blessing in my life<3 Much love to you my friend & I hope things are shaping up for you as well!!

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